Monday, November 15, 2010

Letter To My Soulmate - I Know You Are Out There Somewhere...

Because I have waited, sometimes impatiently, never giving up the search, made more poignant by an ever present, profound and fathomless yearning.  Because I have not accepted, nor committed any compromise, admitting none to occupy that place in my heart, which is your domain alone ...
Because I have denied the pretenders their claim upon my soul, a right that none save you may have.  Because I operate from the premise that the highest honour I may bestow upon myself, and you, is to rather spend the next thirty hours of my life with you in it, as opposed to the next thirty years of my life with second best.  Because I have embraced the loneliness as a prelude to elysium, not for one instant doubting your existence, nor surrendering my hope or forfeiting my faith, that we will find each other ...

The Woman In The Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you queen for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what THAT woman has to say.

For it isn't your partner or family or friend
Whose judgement upon you must pass;
The woman whose verdict counts in the end,
Is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people may think you a straight-shootin' chum
And call you a person of place,
But the woman in the glass says you're only a bum,
If you can't look her straight in the face.

She's the woman to please, never mind all the rest;
For she's with you clear to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test,
If the woman in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years;
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears,
If you've cheated the woman in the glass.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

The Outsider - Part 4

Life begins and carries on. The little girl does not remember much of her childhood within the home for some reason. Perhaps she intentionally blocked out things that she should really have remembered. She did however not have a very unhappy childhood.... But, the little girl did feel very “alone” in her home during the years growing up. Yes, she had sisters, but they were so much older and they were only there to babysit her when her mother was not around for some reason....Outside of the home she had her friends. Blissful sunny days spent riding bikes, playing in the dolls house, or in the tree house, the garden swing. Days filled with screeching laughter ... laughter that made her stomache ache and tears stream down her face ... oh what hilarious times those were ..... she remembers those as clear as daylight. Why does she not recall much of life within the home though....?

Monday, November 1, 2010

Her Future Lies In Learning To Trust Other's Again

Physically usually (though not always) tall and/or slender woman. Quite often has dark hair. Refined appearance and conservative in dress most of the time. Gracious manner. She prefers sophisticated clothing.
Personality is cautious and clever. Can be cunning, destructive and manipulative. She is often aloof and distant.
She keeps her distance and puts up barriers around herself. She displays an air of unemotional responses. She may appear hard, selfish and self-controlled. Beneath her facade she hides much previous emotional pain and/or hardship. She has learnt how to survive.
She is a woman alone – without a loving partner. She may have spent a long time on her own and keeps up her defences and her sword drawn to protect her at all times. She has a fondness for red roses.
She looks good in black clothing. She likes to wear antique and conservative jewellery most of the time, though sometimes she wears some bold jewels.
She knows she would or could be seduced if she lets her guard down. She is not a social butterfly.
She can seem to be unforgiving in some circumstances, but this is her self-defence mechanism being activated to avoid feeling pain and disturbing emotional reactions. She cries in her sleep, and little elsewhere.
She feels more in control if she can avoid having too deep feelings for anyone, lest they puncture her heart and give her reason to despair.
She can become big hearted if in the right company and circumstances and when she feels safe and secure. There is hope for her and she is wise enough to know it. She is symbolic of the rose, seductive and potentially dangerous, capable of cutting the skin and making it bleed, yet the soft velvety petals can blossom into the most beautiful arrangement and captivate your heart. She is wistful and reflective, serious yet sensuous, yet always alert. She is capable of being the Goddess or the crucifier.
She knows only one truth, her own. Her future lies in learning to trust others again. She has been severely betrayed in the past by women in the workplace and by men in relationships. She could have a love relationship but only if total trust exists. There is no room for dishonesty or lies. If she is betrayed, she severs her relationships completely and irrevocably and never goes back.

The Outsider - Part 3

The discipline in the family is strict. The head of the family rules with his iron fist! The children are to be seen and not heard. There is no show of affection in this family whatsoever. It is all formal. When it is a Birthday – a handshake is given. The words “I love you” are never uttered.....

Monday, October 25, 2010

The Outsider - Part 2

It is a hot day. The whole family is on holiday in Mozambique, formerly Lorenco Marques. There she is – round as a cherub. Blonde almost white hair, blue/green eyes. Face scrunched up due to the brightness of the sun. Sitting and holding on to the pole of the umbrella. The little girl is feeling ill. She is barely a year old. She cannot say what is wrong with her so she cries, and cries and cries some more. The child's father is getting more and more agitated. Finally he snaps. He grabs the little girl and gives her such a spanking. Everyone else in camp shocked into silence. The silence amongst them says it all.... The child crying relentlessly....The resentment between the little girl and her father builds even more.... but that was the acknowledgement that she got....

Follow Your Heart

The power to feel is a more direct – more immediate – method of knowing than thinking is. Thinking is indirect. Thinking about a thing never touches the thing itself. Feeling is a faculty that touches directly the thing or issue in question. We actually experience it. Emotional feeling is almost like another sense which humans possess – a psychic sense. Though processes are generally analytic and dissociating. In order to think clearly we must make distinctions, comparisons and the like. But feeling is unifying and integrative. To think clearly about something you have to distance yourself from it. To feel something you must get close to it.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

The Outsider - Part 1

Normal scenario would be happy parents. Proud of their baby girl. Smiling faces. But not in this case. The mother – holding her child. She is happy but the Father of the child, her husband, is dismayed. He is angry at his wife. Another girl! A fourth girl! And this time it is too late to try for a boy. His wife is already 40years old! There just is no hope of the family name being carried forward into the future. The other three girls ... so much older already. The eldest daughter is 18, the middle daughter is 11 and the other is 8 years old. He is filled with resentment. The little baby girl lying in her mother's arms can feel the resentment and cries loudly. The Father storms out of the hospital to go drown his sorrows.....It takes him almost a year before he acknowledges his daughter.....