Saturday, January 1, 2011

The Outsider - Part 6

Time passed. As time went by that little girl so desperately wanted to feel the love of her father. So desperately wanted his approval. So she became a Tom Boy. She hated dresses! The only dress she wore was her school dress. Other than that it was jeans or shorts. The only time she could win her father's favour was when they went on holiday. She would help him with the caravan. She would help clean it up. She would then help him to hook it onto the car. Then she would help him to make sure all the indicators and lights worked. Then she wanted a fishing rod so that she could go fishing with her Dad. Oh, that was so great when he taught her how to put bait on the hook and then how to cast the line and then wait with her finger on the line for a bite. She cherished that time. She would get smiles of encouragement from her Dad. Then there were times where she would go to where he ran his transport business from and sometimes he would ask her to pass him screw drivers or spanners when he was working on an engine. And so slowly he would have time for her. But, that time was always somehow about how she had to prove herself. Almost like a competition between them. And only if she measured up did she get that winning smile. If she did not measure up – well the wrath that came with that is unexplainable..... Time passed ... the girl went to High School ... the boyish clothes became more feminine .... The iron fist still ruled. She was not allowed out to disco's. She could go to movies with her friends but had to be back home by 22:00. She had her episodes with her Dad concerning “boyfriends” that never really lasted as she had to see them behind her father's back but, he inevitably found out about them and all hell would break loose. Those “episodes” resulted in times where he never spoke to her for what felt like a life time! Or alternatively she would be glared at with those ice blue eyes of his..... if looks could kill ....?

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